Sure, it looked fine when we tested it.
But the on the day, there was a bit more menace. And rain.
But the drama started before we even got there. The brand new trailer built especially to carry
Trouble Maker and
Quicksilver shed a wheel at 90km/h causing quite a nice shower of sparks down the highway, but seriously delaying the convoy. Some running repairs with some sticks, a cable-tie and a roll of duct tape and we limped to the track.
And what a track! In the middle of nowhere, finishing in a
car park with spectacular views of the ocean and nice and steep. Our first dirt track, too (if you don't count the excursions
Double Trouble took in the first couple of races).
It was wet though. And the dirt sections had potholes you could lose small children in.
Death Machine even thought knobbly tires were a good idea.
It got real bumpy and real rugged real quickly...
One of the casualties was
Subrid, a
truly awesome new cart on its debut run. It's got proper hydraulic brakes and at least four people lost their spare tyres last time they got their
Subarus serviced. Unfortunately, the rigid
chassis bounced around a bit much of the rough surface and it lost control, spun out and took out a tree. But I suspect on tar it would be
Subrid first, daylight second.
The
Blue Bandit is a low-slung, tarmac-hugging, new-aerodynamic-bodywork-sporting, finely tuned race machine.
It struggled with the potholes. But at least it made it to the bottom of the hill.
Quicksilver is not built for the wet. It locked-up and spun-out into a car park not even half-way down. Back on track, the pilot locked-up again, got the fear, tried to bail, stupidly crashed and decided spectating would do for the rest of the day. Wuss.
Fairing better was
Superkart 3000, for the first race anyway. It managed a respectable 5
th. However, the second race wasn't as kind and it ended up in a ditch with a smashed front end.
Kymbo also had a great first race, handling the conditions with ease and finishing 3rd. The second race it also did well before spinning out in spectacular fashion on the treacherous final corner.
Paddles, sporting a homage to our favourite stuntmen at
Steel On Wheels, was unlucky to come off into the car park that
Quicksilver visited. I don't know why, but I speculate it was to sacrifice himself rather than have a horrible head-on collision with a bus load of crippled children out on a day trip from their orphanage.
Told you it was rough. Just look at the attitude on this!
Tun o' Fun absolutely flew down the hill with
surprising agility considering its size. I can only imaging how fast it used to cut lawns.
While some people struggled with the conditions, others found them so easy they could do it one handed while looking through a viewfinder. This is how seriously we take getting footage for our movies.
Trouble Maker is aptly named. Drama getting to the track, then more dramas going home. Even though it was tied down, it decided to jump out of the trailer it was in and try to escape. It now sports a few more cracks and dents in its bodywork.
Bootylicious ran an incident free race, but the rough road still took its toll. The
balonies on the back are rock solid, but the front's going to need a wheel alignment.
The
Red Rocket had a new pilot who appeared apprehensive at first, but I reckon it was all an act to psych the rest of us out. Despite starting second last he finished well up the order.
Despite a couple of months absence and the fact that it rides lower than a snakes belly,
Agent Orange made a comeback and achieved two long held goals of beating the
Blue Bandit and
Quicksilver. Gloat while you can.
Even with special wet-weather tyres,
Team Death couldn't repeat their 1-2 form finish.
Death Machine, looking better than ever after extensive repairs since last race, wasn't able to make up ground from it's midfield starting position.
Death Ray, meanwhile, led from the front and was never seriously challenged from the rest of the pack. It took some corners on two wheels and some on no wheels and once again sleeps with the trophy.
Official results for those keeping score at home:
- Death Ray
- Ton o' Fun
- Kymbo
- Bootylicious
- Superkart 3000
- Trouble Maker
- Red Rocket
- Death Machine
- Trollywood
- Agent Orange
- Paddles
- Blue Bandit
- Subrid – DNF
- Quicksilver – DNF
Thank you as always to our crew who start us and stop us and keep us running even when we forget to tighten our wheel nuts.
Movie up – go look!
We like to mix things up a bit, you know? So in the penultimate race of the season we thought we might catch our breath on a slightly slower track. Still over a k' in length, but with a bit of a flat section in the middle. To be honest, some of the rockets didn't realise there was a slower spot in the middle and hurled themselves to the finish at break-neck speed anyway. But a few of us felt like we were going uphill...
We had some regulars jet-setting around the globe, but we made up for it with the debut of this cart (that I'm sure has a really cool name that someone will tell me, but for now let's call it the Ice Cream Man) that took the number of starters to 12. Ice Cream Man was quick but had a little trouble with steering that prevented it from running in the other heats. 
It must have looked pretty good from behind, because the Red Rocket tried to mount it. No injuries ensued, and the wheels were soon pointed in the right direction.
The Red Rocket was also lucky to escape unscathed from this close encounter with the Death Machine, who is not known for pulling punches. High-speed wheel-to-wheel racing is what the AIGRF is all about.
Team Death suffered a little from the flat middle section and weren't up the really pointy end of the field like they have been in the last couple of races. Death Ray saw a little footpath action and Death Machine pulled off some fancy moves for the camera, but both are still fast and determined to add something else to the winners trophy next race.
Agent Orange has had a major rethink, half because it was too slow, half because it wouldn't fit into the new trailer with Trouble Maker. All these problems have been addressed and the Agent finished with a top 10 finish on the driver's 31st birthday. 
It looks awesome too, and will be even better once the fibreglass body goes on. Check out these trick custom 3D flames!
Trouble Maker had a quite race (only going off-road once), probably because its pilot put so much time and effort into Agent Orange and Quicksilver.
Dogmatic lapped this one up and powered through to second place. Don't be fooled by the small diameter wheels, this puppy flies. He is also determined to make race 12 his, or at least beat Kymbo.
Ahh, Kymbo. This hill was built for this cart. What flat middle section?
This is how some of us want it to race next time. No wheels should even up the field a bit.
But it would still probably beat Quicksilver. The much talked about mods have finally happened. It has new wheels and new bearings all-round. It has dual rear disc brakes. It looks tough.
The rear-vision mirror was probably a bit optimistic. It still came last. But, the axle alignment issue that caused this is easily fixed, so watch it zoom up the ranking next race. Its hard-working crew will not be disappointed.
Trollywood finished higher in the order than a loaner-cart really should. The regulars who get beaten by it every month are starting to get disheartened.
Superkart 3000 continues to confound the other racers by actually making it to the bottom of the hill and doing it in a zippy manner, even though it requires major repairs every time and is now, quite literally, held together with string and I have no doubt, chewing gum.
Maybe the secret to its success is that it wasn't actually built, but that a Toyota Echo gave birth to it after a drunken liasion with a speedboat?
Bootylicious was without its usual pilot, but was steered ably by its builder, a man who obviously knows how to get the best out of it, to a strong 3rd place finish. Then, in a welcome change from some of the more up-tight residents we've found on other hills, a local commandeered it and was happily pushed up and down the street to get a taste of racing. We've made a friend and have no doubt she's busy in the shed building a cart so she can join us.
Official results:
Check the movie right now!
